


veneration

by armethaumaturgy



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Coitus Interruptus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armethaumaturgy/pseuds/armethaumaturgy
Summary: Infi nods and Esper smiles at him, grateful. His fingers are gentle as they trace the lines of his muscles, stopping on his right side, running over a long line of darkened skin."I remember this one," Esper says, looking almost absentminded as he strokes it back and forth. "You got it from a Glitter protecting Aisha."





	veneration

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elsword](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsword/gifts).



> im zzzzz but this is for my wonderful girlfriend i love you so much enjoy im hhhhhhhhhgay

****Esper's lips are robbing him of breath. But who needs breath when he's feeling like he's floating and weightless. Esper's teeth tease at his lower lip, pointed tips dragging over the sensitive skin, but never breaking it.

Esper had bitten him plenty of times. Infi even lost count of how many times their kisses turned bloody and sweet with the taste of iron. This time, though, he's being gentle and careful, and Infi can't deny it turning him on even more than their usual heated almost-spar-like making out.

It's been months since the first time he's felt Esper's lips on his, tongue running over his, the word 'partner' leave his lips. Who would have thought.

The mattress is soft underneath him as Esper throws a lanky leg over him, settling almost in his lap. Gravity does its job with the help of Esper's hand pushing against his chest, and he sprawls backwards, hair long out of its tie and fanning around his head like a red halo.

There's a smirk on Esper's lips and he licks them as he looks down at Infi, and the redhead feels like he'll burn up from within just from that sight. In the soft light of the overhead lamps, Esper's hair shines like silk, like the covers beneath them. His skin looks like freshly fallen snow. He's beautiful.

Infi is pulled from his thoughts when Esper leans down, his crotch grinding down against Infi's as he mashes their lips together again. A moan passes between them, but whether it's Esper's or his, he doesn't know. It's probably his, because Esper repeats the motion, biting down on his own lip to muffle his groan.

The weight on his hips is so gratifying, Infi doesn't even notice when his hands find their way to Esper's thin hips and curl there, thumbs striking over the protruding bones. Esper's frame shivers from the touches and Infi feels like a god, able to pull such a reaction with just a simple touch.

Esper kisses him, all tongue and spit running between them, dropping down onto the covers; it's filthy and desperate and they both love it. Esper's fingers skirt along his chest, over his ribs like he's just touching piano keys, and then they settle on his stomach, thumbs sneaking in and playing with the waistband of his trousers. They don't tug, merely stroke the hidden, sensitive skin before moving back up, bunching his shirt and pushing it up.

Infi's breath hitches and his heart stops. He wiggles backwards, but doesn't get anywhere with Esper sitting on him.

Instead, his hand shoots down to grip Esper's wrist, the other pulling his shirt back down. His heart hammers in his chest like it's trying to burst out and he sucks in a shaky breath.

Esper had frozen on top of him, looking down with wide eyes. He moves away as soon as Infi lets go of his hand, and immediately Infi misses his warmth and weight against himself.

"What's wrong?" Esper asks, sitting by his side, making sure not to touch him in any way. Infi hates it. "Did I go too fast? I thought you wanted to…?"

"No!" Infi says, to stop Esper, "I do, I want to, goddess you've no idea-- it's just that--"

He sits up to be level with Esper again. He notices the bulge straining Esper's pants and feels guilty that his own had waned. He crosses his legs in front of himself to hide it.

"What is it, Infi?" Esper asks, brows drawn together. He hasn't seen Infi like this before, at least not in the bedroom. Not including the night terrors, but those aren't sexual. Usually.

Infi lifts a hand and presses it against his chest, right over where his heart is. "It's just… I'm ugly, Es, I'm… And I don't wanna disgust you."

He doesn't meet Esper's gaze at all, instead staring at the bedside table, which had apparently become the most interesting thing in the world. He doesn't even when minutes pass in tense silence.

"Why do you think you're ugly?" Esper's voice startles him, coming so suddenly.

Infi curls up in on himself, hugging his knees close to his chest. He can't muster up an answer for a while. "I just... am. I have so many scars, I'm not pretty like you."

"You're a warrior, aren't you?"

Infi hums, peering up through his fringe at Esper, unsure what he's getting at.

"And you're alive, aren't you?"

Infi hums again, now completely confused.

"Then aren't they more like a victor's trophies?"

Infi frowns, biting into his lip. "You wouldn't understand!" he cries, and he knows it had been a mistake the moment he does, because Esper goes lax and his stare turns blank.

Wordlessly, the time traveler tugs off his shirt and chucks it to the floor. He leans back, lets the light fall on all his bared skin. The crystal in his chest pulsates slowly with faint light, but what catches Infi's attention is the skin around it, cut jaggedly and wrinkled skin surrounding the gem's edges. His eyes move up, mouth opening to say something, anything, but he stops when he gets to Esper's neck and the stark scar circling it, unmistakable marks of something being tied around it, scratch marks over and under it like he'd tried getting rid of it unsuccessfully.

"Esper…" Infi breathes out, but Esper just grins at him, showing off his teeth.

"Guess I'm too ugly to fuck now, aren't I?" he asks. There's an edge in his voice, something teasing, but Infi feels more like crying.

"That's not true!" he cries, springing forward and almost knocking Esper off the bed with the force he throws himself onto the other boy. "You're not ugly, Es."

Esper raises a brow at him, silently waiting. Infi swallows heavily a few times, but relents in the end. "I got it, I got it. Just… Please don't be disgusted," he almost begs as he pulse of his own shirt, immediately feeling too exposed, too naked.

Esper looks him up and down, with all he fidgeting included, and all Infi can spy in his gaze is admiration, after he musters up the courage to look in the first place. "Your shirt leaves little to the imagination," Esper comments, eyes rowing over his chest and stomach. His hand reaches up, stopping just shy of touching the bare skin. "Can I?"

Infi nods and Esper smiles at him, grateful. His fingers are gentle as they trace the lines of his muscles, stopping on his right side, running over a long line of darkened skin.

"I remember this one," Esper says, looking almost absentminded as he strokes it back and forth. "You got it from a Glitter protecting Aisha."

Infi feels completely out of his element. Not only is Esper's reaction not the one he expected, but for him to remember such a thing?

Esper leans down, pressing his lips against the skin. Infi startles, trying to pull away, but Esper's hands find a new resting place on his hips. He's pushed backwards again, falling against the soft pillows. Esper presses a line of kisses over his side and then moves to his chest. Infi's heart skips a beat when he realizes what Esper's doing; kissing along each if the scars.

"Esper, you don't have to--!"

"But I wanna," Esper mumbles back, lips still against him.

Infi forces himself to relax, sinking into the bed while Esper straddles him again, back bent so he can reach even the scars on his hips, reckless ones from rushing too fast into battle, from not paying attention, but Esper treats them all with the same soft reverence.

"You okay?" Esper asks, stopping again to look at him. It's only when he doesn't move for a minute that Infi realizes that there's tears rolling down his cheeks and stinging his eyes.

The swordsman reaches out, arms crisscrossed with discolored skin wrapping around Esper's chest, fingers finding the same marks on his back as he pulls him flush against himself. "I'm so happy," he mutters, pressing his face into Esper's hair.

"Why? I mean, that's good, but you know…"

Infi chuckles, sniffling. "I was so worried." Its painful to admit, but this is Esper, he had seen him at his worst and still stuck around. Why would he be disgusted by scars? Why would he? No one but him views his scars like awful, damning brands.

"Worried I wouldn't like you because you get hit often?" Esper grins and his eyes narrow. Infi knows that look, and knows enough to know he should be worried. "Let me show you something really disgusting."

His tongue lolls out, slick with dark spit, and Esper lets it drip down, right onto Infi's neck. Infi recoils, smacking a hand over Esper's chin to push him away while he woods it away. Esper's grinning like an idiot, laughing at him.

Esper drops onto him, but since he's so light, it doesn't even have the desired effect of being annoying. Infi wraps his arms around the other boy again, holding him close while rolling so he could curl up into his chest.

"Sorry," he sighs, "about ruining the atmosphere."

Esper shakes his head and then plants a kiss onto his forehead, fingers twirling a lock of red hair. "Nah, I'm glad you told me. You shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with. It's not really making love anymore if you don't wanna do it."

"But I do--"

"We can, don't worry," Esper cuts him off. It's hard not to treat Infi like a small child in this situation, like he would've wanted to be treated. "But you weren't fine with me seeing your scars, so it wouldn't have been enjoyable for you. We can do it any other time, when both of us are fine with it."

Infi swallows, pressing his head even closer to Esper's chest. The gemstone blinks lazily next to his face, radiating pleasant warmth. He mulls over what Esper's saying, and he can't help but feel thankful.

"For trying to be edgy, you sure are nice inside, aren't you?" Infi laughs, pressing a kiss to the gemstone. Esper shivers against him and Infi knows he'd felt and liked that.

"I can't be both?" Esper asks, feigning surprise. "And here I thought I'd be finally able to cuddle you all night, but now I have to throw you off the bed."

"Wait- no--!" Infi exclaims, but Esper's already picking him up and shoving him backwards off the bed. He yelps in surprise, but his back is met with softness, the blanket bunched on the ground to make his fall painless. "You're an ass," Infi grumbles when he picks himself up.

"So now you're complaining when I stick to my edgy persona, huh?" Esper rolls his eyes, but they're both laughing, feeling lighter than before.

Infi had never felt this light without a shirt before, but everything is possible with Esper, it seems. He promises himself the next time he won't panic. And even if he will, he knows Esper won't get angry or disgusted.


End file.
